So Let's Talk

Life Happens | Kay Camenisch | Grassroots Writer's Group

By Kay Camenisch

Before our son, Daniel, began first grade, it seemed he couldn’t see well, so we had his eyes checked. I assured the ophthalmologist that Daniel could read and that using the picture chart was not necessary. Dr. Oliphant pointed to the third line on the alphabet chart and said, “Daniel, can you read this for me?”

We waited as Daniel studied the chart with furrowed brow. Time passed, and I was grateful I’d brought him in for a check-up. Then, when questioned, I assured Dr. Oliphant again that Daniel knew his alphabet.

As the clock continued to tick, it was apparent that my son couldn’t see. The letters O, C, L, F, and T were large, and easy to read. Why hadn’t I noticed the problem sooner? How had Daniel seen the blackboard in kindergarten? My guilt mounted as time passed.

Finally, Daniel broke the silence as he confidently read, “Oc-lft.”

Dr. Oliphant started, turned, looked at the chart, then said, “That’s right, Daniel. That’s absolutely right.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “Now, please read it again. This time read it backwards, one letter at a time.”

Daniel’s eyes were fine. He took so long because he didn’t know how to pronounce a new ‘word’—one that didn’t have enough vowels. He struggled because he didn’t understand the instructions.

Communication is important. When instructions aren’t clear it leads to misunderstanding—and often to tension, or even fights. Communication is critical in relationships. It connects us to those around.

Even ritual serves a purpose. “Hi. How are you?” followed by, “Fine, thank you. How are you?” often seems meaningless. However, simply asking the question demonstrates a level of caring—and if we don’t respond, it can cause offense. Through ritual, we connect.

My father had a stroke that left him unable to speak clearly. He knew what he wanted to say, but the wrong words would come out. When speaking of Kentucky, he’d likely say “Korea” or “Georgia.” When speaking of his grown son, he might call him his brother, a baby, or a dog. And he consistently used “she” to refer to males as well as females. It was a constant challenge to follow his thoughts.

He liked to communicate and didn’t let the lack of understanding stop him from sharing. We worked to comprehend, but were often frustrated. Occasionally he’d see the confusion in our faces. He’d try harder, then blurt out, “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

He was frustrated too, but he never gave up. He kept trying to talk. He liked people and he wanted to share life with his friends.

Everybody doesn’t work so hard to connect, even with the people who are most important to them. Recently we were at a restaurant and Robert nodded toward a nearby table and said, “They look like newly weds.”

Curious, we all tried to look at the couple without it being noticed. Nothing seemed unusual about them. Then somebody asked, “Why do you say that?”

“It’s simple,” he said, They’re in their seventies, but they’re talking a lot. And they’re looking in each other’s eyes.”

We met the couple as they were leaving. Sure enough, they were widowed and had only been married to each other for a few months. They were still building their relationship. They were still communicating. Still sharing about their lives.

But if it was obvious they were newly weds, what does the observation say about the rest of us?

My Space, Facebook, and Twitter sites where friends connect on the internet reflect our need to be connected. However, even though they offer connection with a lot of people, most of the communication is surface. I wonder if our social networking systems will soon feel shallow, and that we’ll question whether or not they’re worth the time they take.

It is a blessing to be connected to a lot of people, but it is worth the effort to also build deeper relationships. We need to share about things in our hearts, to understand and be understood. They say keeping relationships strong takes work. Some days it is work to talk about things that matter instead of keeping silent or prattling on about nothing. However, it’s worth the work.

For all of us, life happens. It’s good to have someone to share it with. So let’s talk—I mean really talk.

---

Trail Pleasure Saddle Club News

By Jesse Goens and Snick

We didn't have a ride May 10th so that we could honor our Mothers. Our next ride will be Sunday May 17th at Red Hill near Livingston. For more information call Charles Locker or Bill Lake. After the ride a meal will be provided.

Our trivia question for this week for another Trail Pleasure cap is, in the show Gunsmoke, what is Doc Adams' first name? If you know the answer, call 859-339-4298 anytime after Thursday.

Snick says: The reason cowboys die with their boots on is because they don't want to stub their toe when they kick the bucket.

See you down the trail!
Lefty

---

Habitat News

By Roberta Keefe

Well, the new family is working very hard to complete the punch list for lot 4. The biggest item needing attention is the back porch railing. It is too short. State code calls for the railing to extend out over the nose of the bottom step, whereas city code only calls for it to extend to the bottom step. It will be an easy fix, as we only need an additional support for the top rail, like a four by four post at the nose of the step. It also must have a continuous handhold of metal or wood. Metal piping is the easier and Garrard Hardware does a nice job making them for us. We could be ready for the state inspector by next week.

We were sorry the City Council chose to stick with their original vote in not releasing the road bond for Mason Avenue. It is hard to be compared with other projects when similar methods of construction were not used. We felt if the Council was aware of the amount of very heavy traffic that has traveled on the road without causing damage they might reconsider. The bond is an expense we cannot afford easily. We understand the city’s reluctance to incur additional expense due to inferior quality however; Mason Avenue now has a three-year history of good workmanship. Over the years of its existence, GCHFH has added to the city’s tax base by building 17 new homes. Other affiliates are able to partner with their local government and receive many benefits. Habitat for Humanity may be a not for profit entity, but they are the end product of a tax payer, who contributes to the community. Most other 501(c) 3 charities continue to be non-profit.

Charlie McQuerry has lot 6 and 7 sites just about empty and build ready. There are a few stumps that will have to be hauled off, but the site looks great. We will get down some grass seed before the weeds take over. We thank Charlie and his motorcycle club for their many hours of hard work.

Please, remember we always need more recycle areas. Please, call Roberta at 548-2270 or any board member to donate or volunteer.

---